Mirela Alexe

Dissociating Emotional Responsibility

by Mirela Alexe

A title that came to me as I was lying on a beach among hundreds, if not thousands, of people who decided to populate the small village by the sea this past weekend. I spend here around four to five weeks every summer, but I am still amazed by the affluence of people on some particular weekends. The hippies, the rockers, the punkers, the gold sandals with sequin dresses, the high heels, totally inappropriate for a sandy village with no sidewalks.

I am not going to treat the subject scientifically or psychologically, but humanely, trying to respond, though this is such a huge pretense, or to explain, or just to touch the question of whether or not we are also emotionally responsible to our fellow humans who populate the Earth.

I have the strong belief that we should and must participate emotionally to the world, give something back also from this point of view. We are socially responsible, that’s what’s acceptable. We should be, but are we? Can we participate socially, without emotional expense? The hundreds and thousands of this weekend are living proof that we are building emotional walls even if we lay our towels at less than social distance,  and at the same time we lay our souls miles away, building small emotional cupolas around them. Thus, we imagine we can guard the towels with our teeth, while not feeling guilty for our total lack of compassion and empathy with the regular small things in life.

Thus the beach turns into a combat field, and you realize there is no emotional responsibility to others. You just carry your battle for your square meter, throwing bad thoughts and feelings around, filling the air with the unspoken tension of the never to be resolved conflict arising from the fact that you feel entitled to be there and the others are merely bothering you, without giving a single thought to the fact that you might just as well bother them.

We pour negativity and our projections into the world, and, as social responsibility is dissociating in a crowd, the same happens with emotion. In the crowd we become tern and tense, we do not want to feel anything towards the others, but eventually we are not so good at controlling our bad feelings.

We are emotionally responsible, not necessarily to spread good emotions, but at least to stop spreading the bad ones, which suddenly turn the people on holiday in fighting monsters, ready to go to extremes in their attempt to prove themselves they are the only ones worthy of experiencing holidays.

Going back to the small village by the sea, which might turn into an apocalyptical battle of minds, I tend to think that the thought of imaginary possessing a square meter of sand for a few hours, no matter if the one next to you will step on your head in order to get to his, is so much clouding our heads that may influence even the weather.

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